Swimming Lessons...

DISCLAIMER: I taught swimming lessons for about 10 years as a teenager, in college, and even my first few years teaching... I feel like I can make these statements some what fairly because I've been on both sides... The reason I don't just teach my boys swimming is that I don't have access to a pool or lake in the winter! OK... read on!

Sutton and I have begun to take Toddler Swimming Lessons... To be perfectly honest, THEY STINK... Here is why... The pool is ABSOLUTELY freezing, the teachers are not qualified, rude, and not friendly, the pool is old, and the locker room is DIRTY... The first night of swimming lessons, the first thing out of the teacher's mouth was "These lessons are boring, we will do the same thing over and over, try to smile so your kid likes it" I was like, GREAT... I am trying, however, to remain positive so that it is a good experience for Sutton, who seems a little tentative in the water... We've gone to lessons twice and although there are some issues, Sutton has been so cute about them... At the second lesson he actually seemed less fearful, so I'm hoping they are working... Here are some of my favorite "Sutton-isms" about swimming lessons... Mind you, he's what I think of as a pretty verbal 2 year old...


"Mommy, take off Sutton's shirt, put on Nemo diaper, LET'S GO!"

"Mommy, put Sutton's clothes in refrigerator, please mommy..." (talking about the LOCKER...)

"No Mommy, No Like Swimming Lessons, put Sutton on side of pool" (this was said when we first stepped into the brrrrr...)

"Mommy, Swimming Lessons hurt Sutton's bebo button" (I'm guessing because it is cold)

"Mommy, G will like Sutton floating on his back..?" ("G" is my dad and he lives on a lake so Sutton associates him with water)

"Mommy, what that teacher doing?" (said while teacher was getting out of the pool to find a sheet with some directions, since she was clueless...)

"Mommy, Sutton can blow bubbles"

"Mommy, Sutton farted in swimming pool"

"Mommy, where bathtub is?" (while showering in the locker room)

"Mommy, put down towel, floor is dirty" (clearly we've raised a neat freak)

and if this isn't every mother's nightmare... We are leaving the building and walking towards us is what I would guess to be about a 400 pound man ( I don't know weight very well, but he was very heavy). Here is our conversation...

"Mommy, what that?" to which I replied (looking beyond the man of course,) "That is a red car, Sutton." but the man is getting closer and closer now... "No Mommy, THAT" ( he is pointing directly to the man now). I said, "That is a big man." Sutton said, "Mommy, what big man doing?" as the man is LITERALLY right next to us on the sidewalk. My response, which I feel was ingenious was, "The big man is going to swimming lessons"... AHHH... Gotta Love It...